I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
