The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
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I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Terrible idea I love it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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