But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
