i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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