Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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