O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
