Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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