is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
