Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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