how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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