That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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