SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
