scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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