No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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