You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
