At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize