Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
