I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
