found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
