We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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