We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize