dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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