There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
