member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
