Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
