so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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