what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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