where am i from again
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
