I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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