Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
