My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
