Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
