i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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