True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wish there were birth control emojis
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
