I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize