you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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