i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
