i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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