and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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