I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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