Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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