I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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