i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
