My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
