But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
