did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have tasted many bathrooms
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
