Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
