bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
