even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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