Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
