real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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