Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
