Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
