Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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