You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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