Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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