I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
