Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
