you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i drank out of a bidet.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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