I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
