Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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