she was so not down for the gang bang
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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