in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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