There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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