I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize