Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."