I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.