I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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