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I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
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