I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize